I never understood it when Daniel tells me that happiness is a choice. I don’t think it is my choice that I get drenched in the rain, nor is it my choice that the train breaks down. Maybe a little my choice since it was my choice to not bring a brolly out or to get on the train.

Then does it mean that the more prepared you are the happier you will be? Then that’s just being prepared and preparing for the worst. That quite a pessimistic way of living!

These days, I kept looking back at my choices in life and wondered if I have completely taken the wrong road. No this is not just a road less travelled, but it felt like a road that brings me nowhere. Maybe towards an edge of a cliff. Or maybe moving forward in t loop the loop?

The decision to not go to work after high school/ poly but going to university. I don’t even know if that was the right choice. Then landing a job in sales, which is what I sucked at. Then failing at being a full-fledged teacher and becoming an allied educator that brings back a little more then 1.5k monthly salary, is the passion to teach really worth drying up my savings?

Then leaving to finally do something I always wanted, travel the world and flying for an airline. The best 3 years of my life I would say but at the end, I still had to leave.

Then thinking I made a great choice to try building a company from nothing with friends, then ended up realising that I was just a cheap employee.

Finally opening my own business and throwing all my money into it and now, living from project to project at the ripe old age of 32. Is this what I really want in life? Off the beaten track? The start-up dream? Then seeing these fresh young faces who just graduate, having rich parents stuffing their faces with money to start their own business, and losing business to them as they are “hungrier for experience and portfolio then money.”

So where does this put me? Right back at the start if I am lucky, off the cliff of I take one more mis step.

But this is life, right? A choice to be happy.

 

But what really is a choice and what really is happiness?